There is enough momshaming now

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There are far too many opinions on how families should organize their lives. It goes first and foremost out of women. No matter what choice women make is that some who believe they know better.

Why breastfeeding she so short, not at all, or so long? Why is she back at work already, or why is she home with the children with financial support, or has gone down in position? It is difficult to rely on themselves in the middle of it all when everyone should have an opinion on what options you take.

This is momshaming. The blame is placed on women.

When I as the mother of two was appointed acting minister only four and a half month after the birth, came the reactions. I got to hear that I was a bad mother, and that I put the job in front of the children and the family. That nattamming not be able to be combined with a statsrådsjobb. When I in the Newspaper told about my experiences, there came once again the reactions.

at the same time, I know that many women experience a pressure to start to work too early after childbirth. It is to work full time, and have the baby in the nursery from the first possibility, is the norm and the ideal to be followed.

Hetset to be a bad mother

But having children is not completely uncomplicated. Several tell stories that they have been so exhausted by the nattevåk, breast-feeding and the work that it will meet the wall and assess whether you need to sykmeldes.

I know perfectly well that to start to work after 4,5 months is not an ideal in itself. Pregnancy, birth and barseltid is different from woman to woman and from pregnancy to pregnancy.

With my first child it took a long time before I was ready to go back to work. I was not up and nodded, a few days after birth, on the contrary. When was it right for me to wait any longer to go back to work.

This just shows once again that it is women and families who know their own situation, their needs and their capacity best.

Instead of giving women a bad conscience by the choices they take, we must cheer up those who take on management roles and make career. At the same time we also need to cheer up moms and dads who take other options for himself and his family. For example, to be a little longer at home with the children when they are small, or go down in position.

Women meet completely other expectations than men. Too often, it is someone who takes the choices for the women. In discussions about leadership positions, appointments or nominations, I have heard statements like "of course She has just had a baby, so she's probably not interested in a managerial position now" or "she is young and will soon start a family".

When we hear such statements about men? There is a great desire for care in such statements. But the result is that others make the choices for the question. I myself am glad that Kjell Britain Ropstad thought so when he would find his substitute. He asked me regardless of the circumstances, and let it be up to me and my family to make the decision whether I would cancel the leave.

I am proud that we in Norway have policy measures that support families of choice. When you choose to take out unpaid leave in a period of time to be home with the kids in the småbarnsfasen get it like a major impact on the family finances.

That we have financial arrangements as cash assistance, which provides some compensation, it is crucial that families should be able to have a real choice.

investing in your family is to invest in a good society. We need to see and support the families needs, not force the families to adapt to others ' expectations.

We shall facilitate for families to be able to select that which suits them, without to hear that the choice they have taken is wrong. Regardless of whether it means that the halden goes quickly back into the workforce, or if you choose a long leave of absence, financial support, or part-time.

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